There's Your Sign!

I just rode up in the elevator with two adorable old guys. They reminded me of a much nicer version of these two lovelies from the Muppets.



On the elevator ride up, they were discussing what each of them had bought for lunch (we were all coming from the Bistro....). One guy had soup and a banana. The other gentleman had soup, a "tiny tuna sandwich" (his descriptor words, not mine) and some jello. So stinkin' cute. But.... what's the common denominator with these foods? They're all soft. smushy. easy to eat.

Bless their hearts. And their "old man" teeth.

Common Denominator in Hatred

I've never met a single person who likes Canadian Geese. Not a one. (If you're that rare fella who does, PLEASE share with the world why you do...)

One of my favorite bloggers, MooshInIndy, wrote a post about the Canadian Geese that are currently messing up her peaceful world.

Her post has inspired me to share an email that I received from my mom earlier this week. But, before hilarity ensues, let me give you a little background:

My parents live on a lake (a lake that just happens to be the last to freeze in the area and is therefore a mecca for all things Canadian Geese), and my mom's mission for the past several years has been to keep the geese out of her yard, and most importantly, her flower beds. She claims she loves nature, but she loves her garden more. I don't blame her - the geese that live on their lake are OBNOXIOUS.

For Mother's Day a couple years ago, my brother got her some "equipment" to assist her in scaring the geese. Note: she doesn't want to kill them (it's illegal!), she just wants to scare them so they jump back into the lake and out of her yard. It's also turned out to be a great way for her to get some aggression out... fyi.

Anywho, my brother and I received the following email this week. I really hope a neighbor saw this... (and took pictures!)

Subject:
No more BB gun!

Body:

I've put the bb rifle in the garage for good. In my continuing war against the geese in the yard, I wounded (didn't kill!) one.

I thought I just popped it in the butt, but it started flailing around in the water. It's mate and one baby started making all this ruckus as did the other pair and their 10 babies. I watched for as long as I could, hoping it was just stunned and would recover.

It wasn't looking good and I didn't want it to drown - I'd already seen that once before and felt awful - so I decided to rescue it. I put on Evan's big yellow rain overalls and got in the lake. I started wading out to the wounded goose and it's trying to get away and sticking out its big tongue at me. Then, it's mate came charging across the lake at me with its wings spread out and hissing. There was a lot of flailing around at this point by me and the geese! I tried to throw a towel over it but it just threw it off.

I finally lifted it up and got it up in the yard (hope you see the irony in this) and it flopped around a bit and went and hid under the grill. BTW - the lake is freezing!

I called the animal hospital but she said they didn't treat adult geese. I asked what to do and she said to give it food like you'd feed farm animals. Uh, I don't have any. So, I crushed up some crackers and got out some fresh spinich and put it in a bowl.

Right now the big thing is under the lilacs, but it is up and walking so maybe I did just stun it.

If it's gone by the time Dad gets home, I'm not going to say a word about it. If it's still there, I guess I'll have to fess up.

I could never be a real hunter.

Love you both,

Mom
xoxoxoxox

Ohmigosh, I love that woman!

(PS - The goose is fine. It was just stunned. Once it came to its senses, it waddled back into the lake...)

Moving On

This past Saturday, two guys I used to date proposed to their girlfriends. One guy I dated casually. I'll call him D.D.L.E. The other was a lot more serious. I'll call him H.B.F. I witnessed one of the engagements on tv of all places. I'm really, really happy for him. The other one? He told me about it (via text!) before he proposed. He wanted me to be the first to know. Awkward? Yes. Am I overjoyed? Not really. More like overcome with odd emotions.

But, we all deserve the chance to move on. HBF especially. And, me too.

A Girl's Life

The Current Contents of My Work Bag:
- 2010 Agenda (my life!!!)
- Folder with important papers
- Pens
- Nail File
- Allergy Medicine
- Spanx
- Black patent flats
- Coupon Book
- Granola Bar

It's no longer a work bag. It's a female survival bag!!!

Lord Give Me Strength

I've been dating a guy on and off for a little over a year. And, I've had my suspicions... I should have trusted my gut. Last night, I met "he who shall not be named"'s girlfriend. Ouch. It was hard to hear. What was harder was having to tell her that her boyfriend has been unfaithful. For over a year. Ouch.

I feel completely taken advantage of. Horrible. Pissed about it. Shitty. Hurt.

However, this quote came through my inbox today:

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm strong to the core. This is just another one of life's speed bumps. And, I feel good knowing that karma is a bitch...

Disney Princess....Mean Girls

A friend sent this smart lil' clip to me. The Disney Princesses (Cinderella 4-eva!) acting as the main characters from Mean Girls. Huh-larious!!!

Formal Desires

Right now, I can count three formal events on my calendar for 2010. And, due to the nature of the events, I think I can get away with the same gown for each event (obviously accessorized differently! duh!). Besides, doing this will save me some serious cash, which I need right now.

So, I popped into Macy's on my way home from pilates today to see if they had what I was looking for. I walked in the store and start heading for the dress department. But, guess where I ended up? (Mom - Seriously. Take a second and guess. You'll probably get it right...) The coat department! Full of lovely coats with..... 75% off signs looking like glowing stars above them. I really think I heard angels singing as I happened upon this beautiful sight!

Quick backstory: I love outerwear. Pea coats. Dress coats. Puffy coats. Jackets. Fleeces. Scarves. Hats. Mittens. Etc. (gawsh - this is actually a POSITIVE to me living in Indiana!!! Hooray!!!) And, I'm drawn to them like a fly to a light.

Couple that with a sale and you probably already know the end to this story: I have a gorgeous, cream, Kenneth Cole coat hanging in my closet. And, I got it for a steal!

The dress? Well, their selection sucked. Which gave me even more reason to buy a coat tonight. I'll go dress shopping later...

FML

My Girl Scout cookies got delivered about a week and a half ago. A day after I finished off the last of the lemon creme cookies, this article shows up in the paper. I. Feel. Gross.

need to catch my breath

The past four days, I've unintentionally exhausted myself. Every. Single. Day. I go-go-go for about fourteen hours straight. Finally come home. And I become worthless. Today? I woke up at 4:30am. Was out the door by 6:30am. Got home at 8:30pm. And, I don't think I'll be able to get off this couch for three weeks. (Plus - my core muscles are killing me due to a great pilates class last night. Just another reason for me to not pry myself from horizontal position.) I need to slow down. Big time.

Oh, and, thinking about pilates... Last night, the instructor kept looking at me and saying "Relax your shoulders! Relax your shoulders!" It sounded familiar. My masseuse the last time I got a massage got on me for not being able to relax my shoulders either. As my mom said, "You get in naturally, honey. I wear my shoulders like a pair of earrings."

One of these days I'll learn the art of relaxation...

Geeked Out

Today, I accomplished something I fretted over for weeks. Today, I made a lot of people proud and happy, including myself. Today, I realized the beauty that lies behind the frustration of collaboration. Today, I was incredibly impressed by regular people doing really. awesome. things. for our better good.

Today was a good day.

Even the dinner celebration - that was just as much of a collaboration as the luncheon...