Thursday, May 20, 2010

Common Denominator in Hatred

I've never met a single person who likes Canadian Geese. Not a one. (If you're that rare fella who does, PLEASE share with the world why you do...)

One of my favorite bloggers, MooshInIndy, wrote a post about the Canadian Geese that are currently messing up her peaceful world.

Her post has inspired me to share an email that I received from my mom earlier this week. But, before hilarity ensues, let me give you a little background:

My parents live on a lake (a lake that just happens to be the last to freeze in the area and is therefore a mecca for all things Canadian Geese), and my mom's mission for the past several years has been to keep the geese out of her yard, and most importantly, her flower beds. She claims she loves nature, but she loves her garden more. I don't blame her - the geese that live on their lake are OBNOXIOUS.

For Mother's Day a couple years ago, my brother got her some "equipment" to assist her in scaring the geese. Note: she doesn't want to kill them (it's illegal!), she just wants to scare them so they jump back into the lake and out of her yard. It's also turned out to be a great way for her to get some aggression out... fyi.

Anywho, my brother and I received the following email this week. I really hope a neighbor saw this... (and took pictures!)

No more BB gun!

I've put the bb rifle in the garage for good. In my continuing war against the geese in the yard, I wounded (didn't kill!) one.

I thought I just popped it in the butt, but it started flailing around in the water. It's mate and one baby started making all this ruckus as did the other pair and their 10 babies. I watched for as long as I could, hoping it was just stunned and would recover.

It wasn't looking good and I didn't want it to drown - I'd already seen that once before and felt awful - so I decided to rescue it. I put on Evan's big yellow rain overalls and got in the lake. I started wading out to the wounded goose and it's trying to get away and sticking out its big tongue at me. Then, it's mate came charging across the lake at me with its wings spread out and hissing. There was a lot of flailing around at this point by me and the geese! I tried to throw a towel over it but it just threw it off.

I finally lifted it up and got it up in the yard (hope you see the irony in this) and it flopped around a bit and went and hid under the grill. BTW - the lake is freezing!

I called the animal hospital but she said they didn't treat adult geese. I asked what to do and she said to give it food like you'd feed farm animals. Uh, I don't have any. So, I crushed up some crackers and got out some fresh spinich and put it in a bowl.

Right now the big thing is under the lilacs, but it is up and walking so maybe I did just stun it.

If it's gone by the time Dad gets home, I'm not going to say a word about it. If it's still there, I guess I'll have to fess up.

I could never be a real hunter.

Love you both,

Ohmigosh, I love that woman!

(PS - The goose is fine. It was just stunned. Once it came to its senses, it waddled back into the lake...)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Moving On

This past Saturday, two guys I used to date proposed to their girlfriends. One guy I dated casually. I'll call him D.D.L.E. The other was a lot more serious. I'll call him H.B.F. I witnessed one of the engagements on tv of all places. I'm really, really happy for him. The other one? He told me about it (via text!) before he proposed. He wanted me to be the first to know. Awkward? Yes. Am I overjoyed? Not really. More like overcome with odd emotions.

But, we all deserve the chance to move on. HBF especially. And, me too.