Thursday, September 16, 2010


As I drove down Fall Creek this morning, this hunk of metal and rubber greeted my on the side of the road, waving an American flag. I couldn't help but smile - and laugh out loud! You don't see stuff this memorable EVERY day. Thank goodness I pass the state fairgrounds on my drive in...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Bus Stops

I started working Downtown almost four years ago. And, while I love it, there is one part of working Downtown that I still find uncomfortable. The bus stops. They're big, crowded, noisy, dirty, smokey. Ugh.

So, when I walk to meetings, I will cross streets based on which route will take me past the least amount of bus stops. It may take a few extra footsteps, but it eases my bus stop anxiety. However, today, I had no choice but to walk through a bus stop. And, not just any bus stop, one of the biggest ones in town - it's a block long!!

Here's what I encountered as I walked on through the big ol' bus stop:
- Small child ran into me
- Almost tripped on some guy's bike
- Smelled somebody smoking weed
- Had to side step (onto a grate!) for a group of boys wearing their shorts below their butts. I guess that whole "ladies first" rule doesn't apply at bus stops
- Had a girl ash her cigarette on my shoe!!! (she didn't even notice...)

OMFG! Really? I finally figured out why I don't like the bus stops - they're oozing with rudeness! (and smoke!)

I'm back to taking the long way....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Fetus Fun

So, a friend of mine is pregnant. It's very exciting! And, she signed up to get those weekly emails that tell her what size the baby (a.k.a the fetus) is as she progresses through the pregnancy. Typically, these emails will compare the fetus to some time of produce. Your baby is the size of a walnut! Your baby is the size of an apple! Your baby is the size of a seedless watermelon! Ahh technology....

Anywho, a couple weeks ago, she received her email, opened it up, read the produce comparison and just didn't know what to think. Because it said... "Your baby is the size of an English hothouse cucumber!" WTH?!?

Of course - we had to Google an English hothouse cucumber. Basically, it's an extra long cucumber (roughly 14 inches). I'm shocked by this. I really thought babies, at six months in, would be... well, rounder! And, of course, I had to mention this to my mom. In all her "Mom" wisdom, she explains to me that babies grow in length first, and put on weight towards the end.

Fine. But, nature creeps me out. I all of a sudden begin thinking that my friend is pregnant with one of those creepy creatures that lived outside Ursula's lair in The Little Mermaid. I know this isn't true, but still!!!

Fast forward to the evening, when I'm popping by the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner. I'm grabbing some tomatoes when I see..... (on sale of course!)..... hothouse cumbers! Extra long cucumbers in! the! flesh! Yes, I bought one. There was no way I was going to pass up the chance to show my friend a real, live cucumber!

Except, I couldn't just bring a cucumber to show her. So, I took some time to give it some personality...

Yes. I dressed the cucumber up as a baby. And it was awesome!!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Why I Could Join the Army

Basic Training.

Less sit-ups and long runs? More yoga and pilates? If it wasn't for the guns, I could do this! (commence your snickering now)

New York Times Article Here

where do I start?

Alright, I'm going to put it all on the table. This summer has been no "summer of love" in my book. Far from it.

First, it began with my ex letting me know he was getting engaged - just two months after he said he still loved me and asked if I was sure I didn't want to be with him. (I was sure.) While I didn't feel any real loss, it was a crushing blow. He was moving forward and I wasn't. [Side note: Someone in his family reached out to me asking if I had any pictures I could pass along for his wedding slide show. WTH?]

Second, I found out I was cheated on. Not with one other girl. Not with two other girls. But, with at least THREE other girls. That's right, I had been dating a male slut and was oblivious to it.

Last, but definitely not least, I was driving home from work one Tuesday to meet my seemingly sweet, seemingly caring boyfriend who had been in my life for a bit. And, that's when he completely blindsided me and dumped me. On. The. Phone! And, without an actual reason. Actually, he had a reason: "I think we're both awesome. I just don't think we're awesome together." Who knew I had been living an episode of Saved by the Bell this whole time?!?!

I can only hope that bad things really do come in threes and that I'm done having my heart broken for awhile. (huge, huge, huge amounts of hope!) I also hope that I'm done picking assholes to date. I mean it. Damn!

Here's to a new season. And, to the cocktails that have helped to numb the pain this summer.

Good riddance, douche bags.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

they are the reason I smile

I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a tough week. A VERY tough week that involved a lot of tears, self-reflection and uncomfortable feelings. But, this week also allowed me to see how lucky I am. Especially for the amazing women I have in my life.

My mom. Who answered the phone when I called at midnight and calmed me down. And, encouraged me to make tea while I talked to her.

My sister. Who showed up in Indy, in all her bohemian glory, and laughed with me in a queit, sunlit cafe. And then we went shoe shopping!

My friends. The friends that show up with cookies and sprinkle cuss words into the conversation when needed. The friends who can spend lazy afternoons simply laughing and telling stories. The friends whose pictures line my mantle. Our lives exist together in this weird kind of connectivity - the connectivity only girl friends can have.

This picture is a perfect example of this friendship. Laughing and loving each others company. (photo courtesy of Miss Darcie Lane)

I'm blessed. I know it.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Welcome back.

Hurting, hurting.
Looking for the silver lining.
Vision crowded by my emotions.
What did I do wrong?
What is my flaw? My flaws?
Wishing for the pain to numb.
Wishing for sleep.
Wishing someone was here to hold me.
Wishing for things that aren't here. That I can't fix.
Hurting, hurting.
Back to "this place" again.

Welcome back.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

There's Your Sign!

I just rode up in the elevator with two adorable old guys. They reminded me of a much nicer version of these two lovelies from the Muppets.

On the elevator ride up, they were discussing what each of them had bought for lunch (we were all coming from the Bistro....). One guy had soup and a banana. The other gentleman had soup, a "tiny tuna sandwich" (his descriptor words, not mine) and some jello. So stinkin' cute. But.... what's the common denominator with these foods? They're all soft. smushy. easy to eat.

Bless their hearts. And their "old man" teeth.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Common Denominator in Hatred

I've never met a single person who likes Canadian Geese. Not a one. (If you're that rare fella who does, PLEASE share with the world why you do...)

One of my favorite bloggers, MooshInIndy, wrote a post about the Canadian Geese that are currently messing up her peaceful world.

Her post has inspired me to share an email that I received from my mom earlier this week. But, before hilarity ensues, let me give you a little background:

My parents live on a lake (a lake that just happens to be the last to freeze in the area and is therefore a mecca for all things Canadian Geese), and my mom's mission for the past several years has been to keep the geese out of her yard, and most importantly, her flower beds. She claims she loves nature, but she loves her garden more. I don't blame her - the geese that live on their lake are OBNOXIOUS.

For Mother's Day a couple years ago, my brother got her some "equipment" to assist her in scaring the geese. Note: she doesn't want to kill them (it's illegal!), she just wants to scare them so they jump back into the lake and out of her yard. It's also turned out to be a great way for her to get some aggression out... fyi.

Anywho, my brother and I received the following email this week. I really hope a neighbor saw this... (and took pictures!)

No more BB gun!

I've put the bb rifle in the garage for good. In my continuing war against the geese in the yard, I wounded (didn't kill!) one.

I thought I just popped it in the butt, but it started flailing around in the water. It's mate and one baby started making all this ruckus as did the other pair and their 10 babies. I watched for as long as I could, hoping it was just stunned and would recover.

It wasn't looking good and I didn't want it to drown - I'd already seen that once before and felt awful - so I decided to rescue it. I put on Evan's big yellow rain overalls and got in the lake. I started wading out to the wounded goose and it's trying to get away and sticking out its big tongue at me. Then, it's mate came charging across the lake at me with its wings spread out and hissing. There was a lot of flailing around at this point by me and the geese! I tried to throw a towel over it but it just threw it off.

I finally lifted it up and got it up in the yard (hope you see the irony in this) and it flopped around a bit and went and hid under the grill. BTW - the lake is freezing!

I called the animal hospital but she said they didn't treat adult geese. I asked what to do and she said to give it food like you'd feed farm animals. Uh, I don't have any. So, I crushed up some crackers and got out some fresh spinich and put it in a bowl.

Right now the big thing is under the lilacs, but it is up and walking so maybe I did just stun it.

If it's gone by the time Dad gets home, I'm not going to say a word about it. If it's still there, I guess I'll have to fess up.

I could never be a real hunter.

Love you both,

Ohmigosh, I love that woman!

(PS - The goose is fine. It was just stunned. Once it came to its senses, it waddled back into the lake...)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Moving On

This past Saturday, two guys I used to date proposed to their girlfriends. One guy I dated casually. I'll call him D.D.L.E. The other was a lot more serious. I'll call him H.B.F. I witnessed one of the engagements on tv of all places. I'm really, really happy for him. The other one? He told me about it (via text!) before he proposed. He wanted me to be the first to know. Awkward? Yes. Am I overjoyed? Not really. More like overcome with odd emotions.

But, we all deserve the chance to move on. HBF especially. And, me too.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Girl's Life

The Current Contents of My Work Bag:
- 2010 Agenda (my life!!!)
- Folder with important papers
- Pens
- Nail File
- Allergy Medicine
- Spanx
- Black patent flats
- Coupon Book
- Granola Bar

It's no longer a work bag. It's a female survival bag!!!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Lord Give Me Strength

I've been dating a guy on and off for a little over a year. And, I've had my suspicions... I should have trusted my gut. Last night, I met "he who shall not be named"'s girlfriend. Ouch. It was hard to hear. What was harder was having to tell her that her boyfriend has been unfaithful. For over a year. Ouch.

I feel completely taken advantage of. Horrible. Pissed about it. Shitty. Hurt.

However, this quote came through my inbox today:

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm strong to the core. This is just another one of life's speed bumps. And, I feel good knowing that karma is a bitch...

Friday, March 5, 2010

Disney Princess....Mean Girls

A friend sent this smart lil' clip to me. The Disney Princesses (Cinderella 4-eva!) acting as the main characters from Mean Girls. Huh-larious!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Formal Desires

Right now, I can count three formal events on my calendar for 2010. And, due to the nature of the events, I think I can get away with the same gown for each event (obviously accessorized differently! duh!). Besides, doing this will save me some serious cash, which I need right now.

So, I popped into Macy's on my way home from pilates today to see if they had what I was looking for. I walked in the store and start heading for the dress department. But, guess where I ended up? (Mom - Seriously. Take a second and guess. You'll probably get it right...) The coat department! Full of lovely coats with..... 75% off signs looking like glowing stars above them. I really think I heard angels singing as I happened upon this beautiful sight!

Quick backstory: I love outerwear. Pea coats. Dress coats. Puffy coats. Jackets. Fleeces. Scarves. Hats. Mittens. Etc. (gawsh - this is actually a POSITIVE to me living in Indiana!!! Hooray!!!) And, I'm drawn to them like a fly to a light.

Couple that with a sale and you probably already know the end to this story: I have a gorgeous, cream, Kenneth Cole coat hanging in my closet. And, I got it for a steal!

The dress? Well, their selection sucked. Which gave me even more reason to buy a coat tonight. I'll go dress shopping later...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


My Girl Scout cookies got delivered about a week and a half ago. A day after I finished off the last of the lemon creme cookies, this article shows up in the paper. I. Feel. Gross.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

need to catch my breath

The past four days, I've unintentionally exhausted myself. Every. Single. Day. I go-go-go for about fourteen hours straight. Finally come home. And I become worthless. Today? I woke up at 4:30am. Was out the door by 6:30am. Got home at 8:30pm. And, I don't think I'll be able to get off this couch for three weeks. (Plus - my core muscles are killing me due to a great pilates class last night. Just another reason for me to not pry myself from horizontal position.) I need to slow down. Big time.

Oh, and, thinking about pilates... Last night, the instructor kept looking at me and saying "Relax your shoulders! Relax your shoulders!" It sounded familiar. My masseuse the last time I got a massage got on me for not being able to relax my shoulders either. As my mom said, "You get in naturally, honey. I wear my shoulders like a pair of earrings."

One of these days I'll learn the art of relaxation...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Geeked Out

Today, I accomplished something I fretted over for weeks. Today, I made a lot of people proud and happy, including myself. Today, I realized the beauty that lies behind the frustration of collaboration. Today, I was incredibly impressed by regular people doing really. awesome. things. for our better good.

Today was a good day.

Even the dinner celebration - that was just as much of a collaboration as the luncheon...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Have you ever gone through those times where one day you're incredibly frustrated, the next day seems like the best! day! ever! and then the next day is all frustration and exhaustion??? Oh, 2010 - you've brought me so many emotions already! Thanks?